Wednesday, April 30, 2008


So,were we left off, Sean just got his wand.
"Hey!" said John. "Just because you've got a wand now doesn't mean you can go about breaking things! That's the deatheater's job. Oh, wait, you don't know who they are. Since the blog owner's computer died while he was typing and he had to start all over again(very annoying!), I'm gonna tell the short way. The deatheaters are Voldemort's evil minions. Voldemort is an evil dude who murdered a lot of people with the killing curse, Avadacidavra," someone next to them screamed and fell over on the ground with a dull thud, "Oops. Anyway, he killed a lot of people. Oh, and there's one important thing I forgot to mention. There was this one kid named Harry Potter, right, and when Voldemort came to his house and killed his parents he tried to kill him, too, but it didn't work and he survived."
"Cool. Hey, quick question, completely non-sequitur but, why do you wizards make it so you're living in the middle ages or something? I mean, why don't you get some electric lamps and some T.V.'s. There's a Packer's game on tonight and I wanna watch it." John gave him a look as if he was staring at a phyco. 
" What?"
" Voldemort, remember?"
" Oh, right. Well, I think all his Voldemort guy needs is a hug. I think I'll go talk to him."
" What are you, crazy? Voldemort kills people like you."
" Do I look like I care? I was getting bored here, anyway." So Sean strode off into the distance. As he was walking home, John thought to himself, "God, he must be the craziest man alive."
Sean was wandering round, wondering were voldemort lived. He decided to ask someone for directions.
"Hey, could you tell me were voldemort lives?"
" Yah, see that scary castle up on the hill with lightning and bats?"
" Yah."
"That's it."
"No problem." Sean walked up the hill and into the castle. He walked up to a desk with a big, dark, grim-reaper looking thing sat at a desk. 
"Hello! Could I see Mr. Voldemort please?" Sean asked. The thing answered in a deep, sad, scary, booming voice.
" Do you have an appointment?"
" No."
" I'm afraid I can't book you in until three. Is that OK?"
" Yah, I guess."
" OK! Sorry for the wait. He has so many visitors. Being an evil lord of darkness is no easy thing. That's why he hired me, by the way,to answer his calls. The names Deem Entor, but all my friends call me Demmy."
" Nice to meet ya, Demmy."
" Nice to meet you too." The phone rung. Demmy answered it. "Hello, Voldemort's evil castle cleaning services!" A short break. " OK Debra, we'll have him in shortly. Thank you! Bye-bye. His client cancelled. Voldemort is ready for you now.
" Oh good!" said Sean. He was very exited. He had never met a dark lord before. He walked through a large archway and opened a wood door. 
"Hello! I'm Voldemort!" a pale faced man with red eyes and slits for a nose turned around.
" So you must be Voldemort! The name's Sean. I was just wondering, why do you kill people so much? You seem like a very nice guy!" At this, surprisingly, Voldemort burst into tears.
"Sit down," he sobbed, "and I'll tell you." Sean took a seat. "Well," started Voldemort, "It all started in 3rd grade. The Other kids would all laugh and make fun of how I looked, especially that James Potter boy. My mother always told I was different, and it was hard. I had no friends. After all, who would want to hang out with the foreign kid with no nose? And that's why. My parents hated me. They all told me I was a freak. And that hurt! I knew I was strange looking, but I also knew I was a normal little boy on the inside!"
" Now, Voldemort, just because you were angry, doesn't mean you can go about killing people! That's a very mean thing to do!"
"I know. You're right. But I didn't know what to do! I was so sad! But I regret what I did. I seriously do. But now that I got into the habit, I can't stop! It's just because they all hate me even more now!"
" Hey Voldemort? Why don't you come with me into my world and we could get you a beer, a tan, some plastic surgery. By then you'll be looking like you were never even hideous! No offense."
"None taken. OK. Let's do it. Sounds like fun."
"Voldemort my buddy?"Sean said as they were walking off.
"I think you and I are gonna be the best of friends."


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

this is so funny. just make sure j.k. rowling doesn't sue you for turning voldemort into a basket case who mommy didn't love enough.