Wednesday, April 30, 2008

VOLDEMORT

So,were we left off, Sean just got his wand.
"Hey!" said John. "Just because you've got a wand now doesn't mean you can go about breaking things! That's the deatheater's job. Oh, wait, you don't know who they are. Since the blog owner's computer died while he was typing and he had to start all over again(very annoying!), I'm gonna tell the short way. The deatheaters are Voldemort's evil minions. Voldemort is an evil dude who murdered a lot of people with the killing curse, Avadacidavra," someone next to them screamed and fell over on the ground with a dull thud, "Oops. Anyway, he killed a lot of people. Oh, and there's one important thing I forgot to mention. There was this one kid named Harry Potter, right, and when Voldemort came to his house and killed his parents he tried to kill him, too, but it didn't work and he survived."
"Cool. Hey, quick question, completely non-sequitur but, why do you wizards make it so you're living in the middle ages or something? I mean, why don't you get some electric lamps and some T.V.'s. There's a Packer's game on tonight and I wanna watch it." John gave him a look as if he was staring at a phyco. 
" What?"
" Voldemort, remember?"
" Oh, right. Well, I think all his Voldemort guy needs is a hug. I think I'll go talk to him."
" What are you, crazy? Voldemort kills people like you."
" Do I look like I care? I was getting bored here, anyway." So Sean strode off into the distance. As he was walking home, John thought to himself, "God, he must be the craziest man alive."
Sean was wandering round, wondering were voldemort lived. He decided to ask someone for directions.
"Hey, could you tell me were voldemort lives?"
" Yah, see that scary castle up on the hill with lightning and bats?"
" Yah."
"That's it."
"Thanks."
"No problem." Sean walked up the hill and into the castle. He walked up to a desk with a big, dark, grim-reaper looking thing sat at a desk. 
"Hello! Could I see Mr. Voldemort please?" Sean asked. The thing answered in a deep, sad, scary, booming voice.
" Do you have an appointment?"
" No."
" I'm afraid I can't book you in until three. Is that OK?"
" Yah, I guess."
" OK! Sorry for the wait. He has so many visitors. Being an evil lord of darkness is no easy thing. That's why he hired me, by the way,to answer his calls. The names Deem Entor, but all my friends call me Demmy."
" Nice to meet ya, Demmy."
" Nice to meet you too." The phone rung. Demmy answered it. "Hello, Voldemort's evil castle cleaning services!" A short break. " OK Debra, we'll have him in shortly. Thank you! Bye-bye. His client cancelled. Voldemort is ready for you now.
" Oh good!" said Sean. He was very exited. He had never met a dark lord before. He walked through a large archway and opened a wood door. 
"Hello! I'm Voldemort!" a pale faced man with red eyes and slits for a nose turned around.
" So you must be Voldemort! The name's Sean. I was just wondering, why do you kill people so much? You seem like a very nice guy!" At this, surprisingly, Voldemort burst into tears.
"Sit down," he sobbed, "and I'll tell you." Sean took a seat. "Well," started Voldemort, "It all started in 3rd grade. The Other kids would all laugh and make fun of how I looked, especially that James Potter boy. My mother always told I was different, and it was hard. I had no friends. After all, who would want to hang out with the foreign kid with no nose? And that's why. My parents hated me. They all told me I was a freak. And that hurt! I knew I was strange looking, but I also knew I was a normal little boy on the inside!"
" Now, Voldemort, just because you were angry, doesn't mean you can go about killing people! That's a very mean thing to do!"
"I know. You're right. But I didn't know what to do! I was so sad! But I regret what I did. I seriously do. But now that I got into the habit, I can't stop! It's just because they all hate me even more now!"
" Hey Voldemort? Why don't you come with me into my world and we could get you a beer, a tan, some plastic surgery. By then you'll be looking like you were never even hideous! No offense."
"None taken. OK. Let's do it. Sounds like fun."
"Voldemort my buddy?"Sean said as they were walking off.
"Yes?"
"I think you and I are gonna be the best of friends."

THE END

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

more fan fiction

OK, so, where did we stop? Oh yah, he fell asleep in the weird street. When Sean woke up, he was surrounded by a bunch of people dressed up like they were they were in the circus.
" Whoa, that's some crazy getup you guys got goin' there. Halloween ain't until October! Naw, but seriously, though, why are you guys all dressed up like that?"
"Dressed up?" exclaimed one man. "Ha! You must be a muggle. Come on over with me and I'll explain it all for you," he said. " My name's John." They walked down the street and soon got to another pub. " Here, have some Butterbeer." He handed Sean a glass full of a golden, fizzy drink. Sean took a sip. It tasted like liquid carmel with a fizz to it. It was a little sweet, but he liked it. 
"So, where the heck am I?" Sean Inquired. " What's a muggle? Why is everyone dressed so strangely? How did the bricks in the Leaky Cauldron move?" He barraged John with questions.
"Hold on now! Slow down! I can only answer so many questions at once! Now, you are a muggle who has wandered into the wizarding world. Everyone is confused because muggles,(non-magic folk) aren't supposed to see the Leaky Cauldron in the first place, let alone get through. Everyone isn't dressed strangely, only for you you. This is how everyone dresses here."
Sean interrupted. "Wait. 
you said non-magic folk. I'm magic. I used to be a magician. See?" He took out a deck of cards and did a card trick. " Is this your card?"
"yes! Bravo! Very good trick but, it is not real magic, only an illusion. But that must have been good enough for you to see the Leaky Cauldron."
" But things have happened before. Cards have really disappeared. Some tricks didn't require illusions at all. Just recently my assistant went missing in the magic box. How do you explain that?"
" Then you must be a wizard! Oh good! So the spell on the Leaky Cauldron doesn't except that fake stuff! I was worried there for a second. Anyway, let's go get you a wand."
They left the pub and walked further down the street. Eventually, they came to a corner, where there were two stores across form each other. One was called WandMart, which was considerably bigger, and the other was called Olivander's. They walked into that one. 
"Even though WandMart has better wands," said John, " I always like supporting the small businesses. A few minutes later Sean walked out with a black, smooth, stick.
" So this is a wand?" asked Sean, holding it with his index finger and thumb. "It doesn't look like much..."
 "Well, wave it around a little!"
" Alright..." he swished wand it the air. Shop window shattered. "Cool."

Monday, April 14, 2008

New story

Man,that story was good. It ended kind of abruptly, though, don't you think? But, now that it's over, I need a new story. This one is going to take place in a book most of you are very familiar with, Harry Potter. In this book, you can get to the wizard world through a pub;there is a small room in the back were you can tap a pattern in the bricks and they open into a secret passage to Diagon alley. My story starts in this pub, were a man named Sean, a magician, sits, drinking a beer.
      Sean is a strange man, he is tall with thick brown hair and a scraggily beard. He took up a job as a magician when he was 20, and is very good. Sometimes things don't go as he planned, and cards really disappear, glass walls come out of nowhere, and just an hour before, one of his assistants fell through the magic box and didn't fall through the bottom, they weren't in the secret compartment at the end of the show. He was very depressed at this fact, and a search was being held right now. He was very good at gambling, had made over 1,000 dollars off of one game of black jack in Las Vegas and won a grand prize in the lottery. 
      Sean heard a voice say "bet" and immediately went towards the sound. He sat down at a table and said: "what are we playing?". The man across from him mumbled "seven card stud" and then put $100 dollars in the center of the table. Sean then put down $500. They played for two hours, and in the end the man to his right won. He took all the money in the center and ran out of the bar whooping with joy. Everyone else sat at the table to play another game but Sean walked out into the back, steaming with rage.
      "How did this happen?!?!?" He yelled into the darkness." I've never lost a game of poker in my life!" He walked up to a brick wall and repeatedly punched it with his fist. "ARGGHHH!"but then the bricks began to move. "Uh-oh," thought Sean. They began to fold aside, faster and faster, until they opened up an entrance of a street that he had never seen before. It looked strange and almost medieval with the cobblestone roads. He then realized how tired he was. He looked at his watch. It was 5:34 am. It started to rain. The pathway had closed behind him and he was stuck out there. He was experienced in urban camping, though, he had been homeless for two months when he was out of business once. He lied down on a green painted bench under an overhang and was soon fast asleep.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

The amazing return

I'm baaaaaack! And I'm here to continue my story. Where we left off, our heroes Ryan and Jake were in prison. Sooo... here we go.
      Ryan was pacing around in his cell. So was Jake. They were looking for a way out. In the end, Jake found it.
    " Hey Ryan!"
    " Yeah?"
    " I think I found a way out."
    " OK,what is it?"
    " Well, you know the frames on our cots are made of metal, right?"
    "yes."
    "The floors here are really worn away. I think if we try hard enough, we could smash through with our cots. But we'll have to do it quickly, because it will be really loud and someone will most likely here it. If they catch us, we will probably transfered to a higher security prison and we won't be able to escape. It's all a matter of whether it works or not. Are you sure you want to do it?"
    "Alright, let's give it a shot. But I just wanna say, if we get caught I'm blamin' you, and I don't think you want to spend the rest of you life in prison with a guy that hates you, so you better hope this works."
    " Right, right. On three ready? One... Two... THREE!"
      They crashed their cots into the floor. The cement collapsed under them and they fell through.
     They fell through into a shamble of pipes, mortar,brick, and concrete.
     "Ow."
     "Hey, I said it would work, I didn't say it would be painless. Come on. Lezzgo." They walked out of the door and into a hallway. They were halfway to the exit when Ryan said:
     " Hey, based on a fact that this is a prison/government base, don't you think there will be security cameras?" Just then, Five men in coast guard uniforms and handguns came running down the hall behind them.
     " I would suggest running now."
     " Good idea." Ryan and Jake ran at full speed down the hall to the door. As they slammed it opened, an alarm sounded and they could hear dogs barking and machine gun fire.
     " I would suggest we run faster now."
     " Also a good idea." They stormed out with men (and also several rabid german shepards)running after them. They climbed over the fence, oblivious to the barbed wire and gunfire, and just barely made it over with their hands covered in blood and Ryan's white tee shirt soaked in red around the left shoulder.
      They ran out onto the beach and plunged off a dock, too see a familiar boat waiting for them.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    They climbed on board.
    "It's good to see you guys alive." spoke George from the wheel.
    " Don't worry, we're just as glad to see you." replied Ryan,Because he is always the one to make the joke.
    " Oh my god!" screamed Violet. "What happened to your shoulder?"
    " Dude with a machine gun got me."
    " Let's get you guys fixed up and then we'll go back home and you can tell us your story." said Chris. And so the small boat drove off into the sunset.
Fin.

Now wasn't that a great story? Of course it was.